Thin.

When I was a junior in High School, my brother and I had gotten into a big fight over something stupid. He's 2 1/2 years younger than me, so we fought a lot through out our lives. However, what separate this fight from all the other previous ones was my mom's boyfriend had just recently started staying over at our house a lot and with him came his dog. His dog was super sexist and hated women, with the exception of my mom. He would always growl at me when I got to close, but he'd never bite or even just snap. Well during this fight neither my mom or mom's boyfriend was home. It was just me, my brother, and the dog. So my brother is a big boy. He stands about 6ft tall 250lbs. He's a big boy. He's not super fat, although he does have quite a bit of extra baggage, but most of his weight that goes over his ideal weight is muscle. Also, at this time I was about 5'6 and 125 in these really short pajama shorts. A huge difference from him. So here we are. In each others faces screaming, yelling, cursing each other to bits. The dog comes up and starts barking at us. I pay no mind to this. I just keep yelling. Then all of a sudden his barking stops and my brothers yelling stops and my mid thigh is throbbing. The dog had bit me. This is a bigger dog. About the size of a small to average lab. Bit me. My brothers face fills with rage. But not towards me anymore. Towards the dog. I don't care about the dog though. I don't care about the issue my brother and I were fighting over ither. Nor the pain throbbing in my thigh. Just that the bite looked so small compared to my leg. The blood was slowly trickling down my leg and the blood lines were just not big enough. My brother picks me up and carries me to my bed and gets me a rag to put pressure on it. But the whole time I couldn't think about the pain. I couldn't think about the dog. I could only think of how to position my leg so it'd look it's smallest. I couldn't have my over weight to obese family looking at my leg and thinking it was too big.

I can't remember a time after the 6th grade that I was okay with my body. I can't remember a time that I looked in the mirror and said that's good enough. I can't be happy with this body.

I didn't weigh myself this morning, but I will tomorrow morning. Hopefully I can will be somewhere within 139. 

Replies:

Christina and A.beautiful.mess thank you for always commenting on my blog. I appreciate you guys so much. ^_^

HxX well the ana diet does the zig zag too but it's just too restrictive for me. Eating that little will slow your metabolism down to nothing and when I get to my goal weight I want to start eating healthy and stay thin and fit. Thanks for your comment. =)