Binge..

I'm scared of the scales. I'm scared to look at anything on my body from the neck down. I've done so horribly the past few days. I keep telling my self it was the birth control, I didn't take it at the same time everyday for those days and it made my hormones go crazy which made my appetite go through the roof.. But I really know it was just me. I was just me breaking. I feel like I broke everything I had worked so hard for the past month in 4 days.

I'm fasting tomorrow. I took so laxatives and drank a lot of water with them. I'm cleansing. Completely.

I have some new things.. Some are kind of like rules and some are kind of like wants.. But they are major thoughts in my head.. So here they are.

• Have legs that do Not touch
• Have the measurements 34-23-34
• Make and drink green tea with ginger and splenda Every morning
• Lay off coffee because I can't stand to drink it with out skim milk or a creamer
• Have arms that aren't huge
• Eat a handful of almonds and an apple everyday
• Drink more water
• Eat more low calorie, low salt soups
• Add low calorie, low fat spicy foods to my diet
• Eat oatmeal with fruit for breakfast more often rather than eggs and toast
• Add flax seeds to my diet
• Eat more raw vegetables
• Finally be pretty.

That's all I really have to say today. I have to go to bed now, but I'll comment on all you guys blogs tomorrow. Sorry for my absence.. I've been avoiding this out of shame.

Some thinspiration.